Starstruck Soul Pillows

'Hollywood pharmacy: 'Thank you! Have a paparazzi - filled day!'

Meeting your Idol (Girl crying after meeting Lee Ryan from Blue).

Andrew Garfield

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

Blues artis's daily list

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

'I hate my life.

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

Melanie Griffith

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

"Fetch!" "Sorry, I'm on a break."

"You're taking this 'King Of Beasts' thing too seriously."

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

"Pigheaded, Fat Scumbag, who should be wiped off the face of the earth, is there an emoji for that?"

Valentine's day...The good news is that I don't think it's contagious.

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Fan club

"I'm not whining."