Starship Captain T-Shirts

'I know it's dark out here - we're traveling faster than the speed of light'

Remote control pirate bully

Sailor in Car.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Captain steering house through flood.

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

Sea weed harvest.

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Remote controlled car on a boat.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Lighthouse Beam.

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Lifesaver!

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

Pirate dogs burying bones.

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

Distractions.

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.