Stargazing Sage Gifts

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'I say we report the snow and ice and just leave it at that.'

"What is the speed of dark?"

"Will all this light cause galactic warming?"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

The Big Tipper

One way only.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Bishop with a crozier case.

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

Johannes Kepler

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

Soon The Moon Will Have Cellphone Reception Better Than That One Part Of Your Commute

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

Alpha Centauri

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"I hope it's not contagious."

'Kleinzweck's theory is that the Universe is expanding because it's INHALING.'

Man covering one eye looking at the moon.

"It is NOT an alien invasion. A moth landed on the lens."