Stand-up Devotee T-Shirts

Seinfeld.

Standup... Nihilist

"Bond James, Bond."

"Bravo!"

Applause

Silly wig.

Theatre Crowd

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Bunny Pranks

3D Theatre

Bob Monkhouse

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

Jack in the Box Reading Joke Book.

The First Hecklers

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Dante Alighieri

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Charles Darwin, stand-up comic

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

Sales Campaign - Ok, Fender - sell me!

Stage Fright

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

It wasn't the first bad decision Ron O'Neal made, but it would be the last.