Stand-up Devotee Pillows

Standup... Nihilist

"Bond James, Bond."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Applause

Silly wig.

"Bravo!"

Theatre Crowd

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

3D Theatre

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Jack in the Box Reading Joke Book.

The First Hecklers

Dante Alighieri

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Sales Campaign - Ok, Fender - sell me!

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Charles Darwin, stand-up comic

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Stage Fright

It wasn't the first bad decision Ron O'Neal made, but it would be the last.

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

"Now take my life-partner...please...take my life-partner!!"