Stand-up Comedy Buff T-Shirts

"My husband wanted me to get a boob job, so I became a stand-up comedian."

They hated me.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Backfire

Snowprov

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'He does lack social skills.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Bloody hell!"

The Golfing Accident

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Beware of the frog"

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Cat Hecklers

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.