Stand-up Anecdote Sharer T-Shirts

Stand-up Romcom

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Wanna talk about it?

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"I've been window-shopping..."

Stand Up Bush

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

Jack in the Box Reading Joke Book.

Newton discovers surrealism

"They must be planning to do a real number on us. It looks like they've brought along an accountant."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

Chicken comedians.

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'