Stain Removal Expert Pillows

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

'We spoil that dog.'

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

"Get out of that chair! Frank and Bernice will be here in an hour and I really don't want to spend half of that time cleaning cat hair off the furniture."

'Which box did you put the kids in?'

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"You must be the new barmaid."

Dept. of Antiquities

"I see you're on another wiping frenzy, Tia Carmen."

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

The Moving Company.

'No matter what I do I can't get rid of his squid marks.'

'Well, would ya' look at this. Typical movers! I sure hope the kids are OK.'

Maid

"Don't worry, I have another savings for your treats."

'I can't believe it. The same woman who sends me to my room for staining my clothes just donated money for stained glass.'

'Yeah...very nice but I still think you're spoiling him.'

'How to get mustard stains out of clothing? Excuse me while I call my mother!'

"It's not just you, Susan, I treat everyone like dirt."

Men load a sofa into truck while their colleague takes it easy.

'Is she teething again?'

Removal men.

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.

'Strongest wrists in the business!'