Stagecraft T-Shirts

Ventriloquist and dummies.

'They all want to play the star.'

"It's done with cables, son. Not performance-enhancing drugs."

"Just be yourself."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Falstaff

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

Toenail clipping missile.

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

E=Emcee Squared

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Well, that's show business."

Janitor sweeping music notes off of concert stage.

Otto von Bismarck

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

Stage producer.

"Returns"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

A Scene From 'Henry V'.

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

Turandot

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

Actors' dispute.

Drunken sailor

Death of the Great Zolini

Tarnhelm