Stage Spotlight Seekers Gifts

'I'm your agent! You're going to have to do another swansong.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Woman crying with happiness.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Mensa Does Improv

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Waving from Behind the Curtain

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

'I'm a star!'

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

TV stage door

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"My first love is the theatre, of course, but you're right up there."

Performance In The Bedroom