Stage Of Life Philosopher T-Shirts

The Seven Ages of Man: Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy.

Find your doctor.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Aging Support Group

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Women

A bull which has seen red.

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."