Life Phase Philosopher T-Shirts

'Oh, you know - one's going through adolescence, the other's going through obsolescence.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Aging Support Group

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

Women

Who's Dead

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

A bull which has seen red.