Life Phase Philosopher T-Shirts

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Women

Who's Dead

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."