Stage Name Creator Mugs

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'They all want to play the star.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Woman crying with happiness.

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

Waving from Behind the Curtain

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

Broadway Moosical.

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

I Pagliacci

'I'm a star!'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""