Stage Explorer Gifts

'It's a Sam Shepard play with the usual props - burnt toast, live animals, and a penis or two.'

The critics were unanamous - by walking out after the first act, they all missed the sensational second act.

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Woman crying with happiness.

Stephen Fry

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Waving from Behind the Curtain

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

'I'm a star!'

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

E=Emcee Squared

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

"My first love is the theatre, of course, but you're right up there."

Samuel Beckett

"They're texting it in."

Gustave Charpentier

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"This next song is for all you a cappella lovers. No strings attached."

Bravo!

"If all the world's a stage, I'm beginning to wonder about the PLAYWRIGHT!"

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

'Forget equal ops, darling, we're searching for a female Maria.'

Captain

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

"This one's for me."

'Supporting the arts'