Staff Manager Pillows

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

Impersonnel Dept.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'Staff management is pretty easy. If you've got a vacant job, give it to the employee of your choice. After that you place a job advertisement.'

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'I give this one about three months...'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

Pushy Dog

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Brains...brains...brains...'