Stadium Scenester Pillows

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

"Just be yourself."

"They grow up so fast."

'They all want to play the star.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Woman crying with happiness.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Waving from Behind the Curtain

E=Emcee Squared

'I'm a star!'

"My first love is the theatre, of course, but you're right up there."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

Bravo!

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"If all the world's a stage, I'm beginning to wonder about the PLAYWRIGHT!"

And the die is cast!

"They're texting it in."

"This next song is for all you a cappella lovers. No strings attached."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

'I wish your father wouldn't dance at weddings. It's so embarrassing.'

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'Forget equal ops, darling, we're searching for a female Maria.'

'Supporting the arts'

Curtain call

'Get real Dot Com'

The Kink and I

'We should get out more often, where's the door?'