Stadium Adventurer Gifts

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Warning: adopt players as role models at your own risk...

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

Why it is best to check your Olympics seat location before buying tickets from scalpers.

Football fan

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

Airport

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Beer Order

'No, mom, Frank wasn't struggling through woods, sand and water in a triathlon. That's his golf game.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Official Team Cap With Beard

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X