St. George's Day Gifts

The British Lion Roused

Saint George.

'Is it politically correct to be more or less ashamed than usual of being English today?'

"Ok, Ok, get your selfie and p*** off!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Staff support"

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Golfing Boss

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box