Squirt Gun Strategist T-Shirts

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Saving for Retirement.

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Corporate pirate.

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

The strong corna war

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

'You should see the bird feeder I built. It's 100% squirrel proof.'

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

"Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you just set your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket."

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

312 - Eat A Lot On The First Date

"Palmer, I want you to see to the legwork; Moscowitz, you'll be my eyes and ears."