Squirrels T-Shirts

'So...are you comin' or goin'?'

You are what you eat!

Embezzle is a pretty strong word. Isn't it possible he just forgot where he buried them?

'Stop toying with them, Henry!'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'You're spoiling that squirrel, subscribing to the Nut - of - the - Month Club!'

Jeremy Always Seemed to End Up Sitting Next to the Nutter.

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

"Okay, break's over. I'll give you a ten second head start."

Dog phrenology

"Really, I let the dog chase me as part of my fitness routine..."

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

'Well, I don't care for religious nuts.'

'You'll have to do something about your squirrel chasing dogs in the park.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"A nutcracker!! Hey...this thing looks used."

Squirrels Nibbling Nutcracker,

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"When I learned 'You are what you eat', I realized I was NUTS."

"So the obsession with squirrels wasn't your first clue?"

'No. Just a couple of squirrels.'

"I see a squirrel, I chase it. Never catch it. They're too fast."

'Trust me. With this prosecuting attorney, we do NOT want you taking the witness stand in your own defense!'

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

'You'll have to do something about your squirrel chasing dogs in the park. It doesn't look right.'

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

He says he won't marry me unless I sign a pre-nut.

Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! Could you explain your joke for the other day about the flying squirrel and the great acorn. Nothing doing. Jokes are never funny once they're explained. Please? I'm sure I'll still find it funny. Sigh. Fine ... When I said my ancestor was a flying squirrel who prayed to the great acorn to get rid of the triceratops who were trampling her magnolias, I was implying that that's why the asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. That's not funny. I will hunt you

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Hats and Food

Know Your Limits

"Fifi"

"Do me a favor. Keep away from that one … he’s freaking weird."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."