Squirrel Aficionado Gifts

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

Squirrel Salon

Grey Squirrels Out Competing Red Squirrel for Food.

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I love this time of day."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Nuts to you, too."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"This'll be a cut and dried, no-drama procedure. Unless any squirrels show up, in which case all hell's gonna break loose."

Squirrel on the beach

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Baby squirrel & Berries

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

You are what you eat!

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'