Spot Style Seeker T-Shirts

'Have you got one with smaller spots?'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pampered and poodled.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Mister Pretty Shoes

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I don't like your application."

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I'll take it!'

Elegant woman in backless dress.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

Changing Room Decisions

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

Tuck Shop