Sports Violence Observer Pillows

'Yes, the middle east has suicide bombers...but we have hockey violence!'

"I AM at my usual position."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

Octopus in the bleachers.

"Doreen, the cat's after the parrot again!"

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

Hockey cheerleaders.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

Winter Olympics

The woodpeckers are just sitting there. That's the new concussion protocol.

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

My first rodeo

"Impressive brawl skills."

Football League - Concussions R Us.

A runner crosses the finish line chased by a nurse.

Main St Ottowa

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."

'Oi! You looking at my 1/3?'

Football League: Concussions R US.

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'