Crime Observer Pillows

'Good morning, Madam! You have been specially selected by computer to be burgled.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Before the riots/after the riots

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"Trash pickup isn't for another two days, isn't it?"

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

You Know You're Old When...

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

"I started out with a molehill, then I just kept going."

Bureau of Missing Persons

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

At a bear crossing sign a silhouette of a bear and cub cross the road in front of a car.

'Quick! Take a picture!'

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

"I'm liking it already!"

The Line-up

Spider watching his web cam.

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."