Sports Stats Fanatic Gifts

'See? Right there where the brain's supposed to be? Nothing but a head full of sports statistics.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Cricket Accidents.

Ball as water-melon.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

Hockey Season.

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'...I don't like your chances!'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"