Sports Snapper Pillows

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"All of a dither as per usual!"

The Other Cooperstown

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Centaur Forward

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Watching the football.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'Nice tackle, Dewey! You knocked the fur ball out of him!'

Wilfried Zaha

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Lost Season

Basketball.

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches