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"Hemple, you did the play-by-play of our meeting with Amalgamated - is the ball now in their court or in our court?"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Go team!

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Ratminton

A day at the transgenic races

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"How should we divide the teams?"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."