Sports Rulebook Enthusiast Gifts

'Just a reminder, gentlemen. It's 4 downs today, not 5.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

Sometimes it takes me a little while to adjust!

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

Penalty! Fifteen yards for a block in the back.

"Spoilsports"

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

Football foul (red card).

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

Spring Training Camp. Have you ever thrown spitballs? Not since the league started testing saliva.

They threw her out of the hopscotch game for unnecessary roughness.

'Great, you can start Monday.. remember, NO BLUE JEANS.'

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

'Excuse me, sirs, I think the penalty is enforced from the succeeding spot.'

"The rules clearly state, 'it takes two to tango'."

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

'Hello, I don't believe I have to give my name, and I'm a pedant.'

'Underarm. . . underarm!'

'Health and safety regulations I'm afraid, sir.'