Sports Mythologist Gifts

"I think the 'curse of the Bambino' has transferred to your Portfolio."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Trojan Hurdler.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

The Hockey World

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

Unicorn in the Woods

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

"All the better to ignore you with."

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

Racketeer

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'