Sports Fan Banter Pillows

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'Here we go again...'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

Egads. I've forgotten what the rule is about a runner throwing a leg to base ahead of himself.

False starts.

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

FIFA scandal

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"OK maybe we should try a different sport."

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

Boxing Sponsors - 'Pue' smelling salts.

'At least, this referee must be impartial, right?'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

'and to think I never used to believe all that stuff about women drivers!'

'Going into sudden death overtime is serious business with these teams.'

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

'Cricket - Drawn with a stump by Dumb-Crambo Junior.'