Sports Culture Critic Prints

"Walk it off, Butler!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Thought Police: 'Are you having mucky thoughts?'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

The Golfing Accident

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

The Hockey World

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'