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"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

C'mon, give him the old 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 combo.

'Harold has a difficult time accepting constructive criticism.'

'OK, don't listen to me. Brush him back from the plate...'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Alternative fielding positions

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Free Speech has heavy price.

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat