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"He has a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Alternative fielding positions

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Pole Vault Rules

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

The Rugby Throw Up.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Golf escape.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

Cat Dreams.

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

"I feel like I play better on clay."