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'... Bailey, squashed. Monroe, legs ripped off. Gutierrez,squashed. Sengelmann, squashed. Binegar, legs ripped off...'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Footballer kicking his own brain.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Football heads...

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

The Washington Arbitrators

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

'Oh great, who do you think's gonna have to clean that up.'

"Kill the third base umpire."

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

"We must prepare for the threat of China laying claim to Raducanu."