Sports Bars Pillows

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"TV is a waste of time. I can be just as bored without it."

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'No ice.'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Beers

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"I think we may be related!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Dolphin friendly tuna

"An everything Martini, please."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."