Sports Bars Pillows

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"TV is a waste of time. I can be just as bored without it."

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'No ice.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"I think we may be related!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Beers

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Dolphin friendly tuna

"An everything Martini, please."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Men gossiping