Sports Bar Manager Pillows

'Sorry - today's 'wild card special' was rained out.'

The MBA Draft

Go team!

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Shaken not stirred

Best Before 5th Pint.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Have you seen my dad?"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

The Hockey World

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes