Sports And Gadgets Juggler T-Shirts

'Okay, yes it's my cell phone. I forgot the puck okay?'

Football

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

A woman watches football on her computer.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Brickie's Mate

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

'I like you, you've got balls.'

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."

"We couldn't remember what practice he had tonight."

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

"I'm off early, hoping to spend a quiet evening with the kids."

"Our smart home is blowing up my text. The oven is mad at the dishwasher. The dishwasher is mad at the lights. The lights are mad at the TV. And I thought out kids fought a lot."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."