Sports Administrator Pillows

'Lawn Tennis Association' Always out of service

Touchdown

Football coach has an in box labeled 'Receive' and an out box labeled 'Kick'.

Total corruption

Budget cuts

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

China rules I.O.C.

'You're accused of punching, gouging, biting and stomping.'

Olympic Spirit kicks Jacques Rogge.

"Slow play. These days, they have rabbits process the scorecards."

Sebastian Coe

'The Olympic committee is confident that we have all the figures for the costings...we just aren't sure what order to put them in!'

Olympic planning toilets.

'Test Cricket Selection Board' "Those opposed say 'I quit'!"

FIFA Corruption

"He talked too much."

Ethics exam cheater.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

The MBA Draft

Go team!

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'