Sporting Satire Lover Gifts

'Cricket Catches (By D. Crambo, Junior.)'

"We're adding to the 'home' and 'away' shirt ranges with our new 'alternate Tuesdays in March' option!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Where's my horse?'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Loser's Podium.

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

Free Speech has heavy price.

The Washington Arbitrators

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'Well, here's your answer, Schluman. How can I possible promote you to district sales manager if you can't even palm a basketball?'