Sporting Satire Appreciator Gifts

'Where's my horse?'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Cat and mouse.

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

Glenn Hoddle

Loser's Podium.

The Washington Arbitrators

'You better have a hunting license.'

"Wow! This really is a lofted iron!"

'Go ahead, big bowler... Show me what you've got!'

Free Speech has heavy price.

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

"We must prepare for the threat of China laying claim to Raducanu."

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."