Sporting Eccentric Prints

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Newt sale

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Man indignant at having caught no fish

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

'Don't you ever knock?'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Skier.

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

How Platypuses Are Born

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

A Macaroni in 1773

Tom Waits.

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Come at me, Bro!"

A Lovely Afternoon of Crazy Golf

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

'First the good news: he has 3 excellent legs.'

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

Bobsleigh practice.