Sporting Comic Fan Gifts

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Here we go again...'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

False starts.

C'mon, give him the old 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 combo.

Modern Football

Egads. I've forgotten what the rule is about a runner throwing a leg to base ahead of himself.

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'Time is running out - shoot! Everyone is starting to keel over and die!!'

"One More Swing."

'CSI: Basketball.'

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

"OK maybe we should try a different sport."

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."