Sporran Fanatic Pillows

'I'd like to report a sporran-snatcher.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Showbiz Awards

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Musical notes bubble gum.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

Tom Hanks

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

Chris O'Dowd

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Haywatch

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

Vincent Van Goth.

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"In the beginning was the word. Bubba bubba bubba, bird bird bird, bird is the word."

"I've never done a Wi-Fi password before!"

'Do something dumb, media blitz, full disclosure, ask for forgiveness...you're back on top!'

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"Nothing like a good stretch before looting and burning."

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

Pop orchestra plays concert for children

"Your're mum's well wicked."