Spooky Speaker Gifts

Bluetooth was the future.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Tim Burton

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

Punkins

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Born of the Dead

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Creepy Camp Stories.

Halloween sculptor

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Trick or treat?"

Hallowe'en wake up call

Monster Realtor

Tupperware Wolf

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."