Spooky Scenics Fan Pillows

Puppet holding cross at Vampire puppet.

'One eye of newt or two?'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"For drinks or dinner?"

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

Evil Villain.

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"Awesome! We've got a live band."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

Trick or Treat. I got a very exclusive invitation to see the new horror movie -- it's a private screaming!

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Witchy Cellist

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

Grim Singer