Spoof Pillows

"Keep pushing - I can see the baby's head!"

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Barks in code.

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Get crazy once in a while

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

JAMES BONDING

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'I'm counter - intelligence'