Sponsorship Savant T-Shirts

"I could pass him, but he's one of the sponsors."

Sponsoring a Panda

The wonderful world of cheese.

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

'Sell South Africa!'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Relay runners passing pictures to each other.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Ve

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

Setting up companies

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

Look at these silly doorbuster promos for flat-screens and webcams. So? Tree's Trees. I'm not battling Black Friday traffic for a few bucks off junk I don't want. I hope someone does. I'm offering half off poinsettias for the first 25 customers. Tree's Tree Nursery. They're my gatebusters. Junk plants no one really wants.

'Always bought low.'

'I tell you, Angela, there's no sight sadder than a desperate adhesives salesman...'

Turning with mathematical precision.

Nethead strip: Sale.com

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

'Setting a low bar helps us to consistently exceed our expectations.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

How to Start your Own Telecomms. Company

"I need the epipen? I need the epipen?! Where am I going to get that kind of money to pay for it?"

'What's our policy on begging for sales?'

Canadian Jesus

"I'm afraid the turnout isn't as high as we'd hoped, three of them misheard the date; five got the time wrong and everyone from sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake!"