Spoiler Sneerers Gifts

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Spoiler alert."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Spoiler Alert

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"Guess who expires next..."

"I had no choice...The idiot was trying to tell me spoilers about the season finale of my favourite soap opera."

'I choose not to read Revelations, too many spoilers.'

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"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"Spoiler alert!"

Spoiler alert for "Star Trek: Discovery." Spoiler will be said in 10 … 9 … 8 … What are you doing? 7 … What on earth are you babbling about, you odd, odd cretin? 6 … 5 … 4 … Your countdown is not working, loser. I have no interest in whatever it is you're going to say. None at all. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Are spoilers supposed to be given after "1," or after "0"? Tell be what you're counting down to! Tell me!

"...I will save you ninnies hudreds of dollars by spoiling every single upcoming superhero movie..."

SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.

"Oh no, have you heard about Prince Philip?"

"I told you not to tell me how it ends!"

"Do you want this with or without spoiler alerts?"

"Spoiler alert!"

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"Spoiler alert! It's just Captain Bob's Savor Fish Shreds again."

"Spoiler alert - it's Captain's Savory Fish Shreds again."

"I knew the Titanic would sink, so I told everybody. Then they kicked me out of the cinema."

'Ugh, I hate when the trailer gives everything away.'

"I like the way this one ends. She shoots him."

'What's wrong, haven't you heard of Global Warming?'

"Oh wow, you won't believe what happens at the end!"

"Don't tell me the ending."

Spoiler Alert!

"Woah! I haven't read it yet. Spoilers!"