Spoiler Cynic T-Shirts

"Guess who expires next..."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

'Oh I've always been a sceptic, through all my past lives.'

"Son, remember - its possible most politicians lie - it's the American way."

Spoiler Alert

"Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can fool all the people all the time!"

Mail & Political lies.

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: CLEAN UNDERWEAR

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

Politician's mask

'Help me, Helen! I'm feeling a momentary lapse of cynicism!'

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'