Spoiler Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Oh wow, you won't believe what happens at the end!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Spoiler alert."

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

A spy

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

Top Secret Files

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

CIA Espionage

CIA Recommended TVs

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

MI5 Press Office

'...This summit may be recorded for NSA training purposes!'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

'Margaret our phone's been tapped!'

"This never happened."

'Can you keep a secret?'